[Scene begins at the Glacier with Zavok walking into a pole]
Zavok: Oh! Pardon me, young lady. [Takes glasses off to get a better look] What a fox. [Walks over to Condiment Island, and puts a bottle of ketchup on his tray. Diablo is in the ketchup bottle]
Diablo: He ha he! Ooh! You're all mine sweet Kami. Ooh hoo ooh ah ha ha ha ha ha!
[Alarm goes off inside the ketchup bottle, and Diablo buckles himself]
Chaos: Initiating launch sequence. [Puts on a mask and unzips mouth zipper] Kami, here we come!
Zavok: [holding ketchup bottle unsteadily] Eh, eh... I hope I don't miss again. [Zavok missed again, as Diablo goes flying across the Glacier]
Diablo: Reunited, and it's gonna feel so good!! [Unzips eye zipper, realizes he's about to crash and screams as he darts into the walls in Blizzard's room]
Blizzard: Ooh, ooh, sweet wampum. Huh! Whazzat? [Blizzard hides next to his rock for protection] Sauron, where are you? Shield me with your forehead! [Diablo finally lands right next to the rock, and Blizzard picks him up] So, it was a just another failed Kami theft attempt by my arch competitor, Diablo! For a second there, I mistook you for a threat. But you're just a dirty little man. [Blizzard flicks Diablo away] So long, shrimp! [An actual shrimp who was exiting the Krusty Krab, turns around. Diablo is in mid-air]
Diablo: Curse you, Blizzaaaaaard!!! [Diablo finally lands in the Inferno. He walks in sighing]
Vertigo: So, typical day of failure, I see, huh darling?
Diablo: Oh, can it, Vertigo. Can't you see I'm exhausted? Why don't you go make yourself useful and synthesize me up some grub?
Vertigo: Yes, your majesty. Hocux Pocux! [Holographic meatloaf appears on the table that Diablo's sitting at]
Diablo: What do we got here? [sarcastically] Oh, goody. Holographic meatloaf again! When am I gonna get some real food? Blizzard gets to eat real food. Just look at his daughter, she's a big as a Pachycephalasaurus. I wish I could be successful like Blizzard. I wish I could somehow just switch lives with him. Just to know what it's like.
Chaos: Then why don't you just use that "Switch-Lives-Just-To-Know-What-It's-Like-O-Mogrifier" spell Vertigo and Lily built last Tuesday?
Diablo: What a brilliant idea! Your parents must have been like, part computer or something.
[Chaos sighs, Diablo sits down in front of Lily and Vertigo] Diablo: Now, let's see.
[A picture of a lion shows up on a card Lily is holding]
Diablo: No... no... no...
[Finally, a picture of a ape shows up]
Diablo: A-ha! [Diablo buckles up] Well, I hate to leave you, Chaos, but you know what they say... a rolling stone gathers no algae!
Lily and Vertigo: (chanting) Ihou Wiuo Rok-Chok! So you wish to switch a life, don't forget to bring a knife! ("knife" echoes) [Lasers appear out of Lily's hands and Vertigo's tail] [Diablo goes through a hole of space and time and screams] [Diablo stops to get a drink of soda]
Diablo: Ah. [resumes screaming] [Later, Diablo wakes up at Blizzard's room] Ugh... dear Neptune above, what happened last night? Huh, what's this? [Diablo picks up a name plate reading Diablo] Diablo? [Diablo picks up a picture of Cam] Who the Davey? [Diablo looks out the windows and sees dinosaurs creating machinations] I'm in the Glacier... which means the life switcher was a success! The Virtuous Beasts are mine! [Diablo sees himself blue] Corporate casual!
Tadinsi: Kami! Cam wants you.
Diablo: [Diablo's eyes turns into Kami] At last!
Kami: [Kami levitates to Cam] Hey, Cam. Can I use my telekine... [Diablo appears at the table]
Cam: Ahoy there, Diablo.
Diablo: Er, um, hey there, uh Cam. Uh, Cam?
Cam: Yes sir!
Diablo: I'm gonna need to take Kami back to my room for um, brain inspection.
Cam: I'm afraid you can't do that, Diablo!
Diablo: Why- why not?
Cam: Because I have to talk to her, dude!
Diablo: You? I'll boil you in hot oil, and rip out your-- [Kami raises her finger to stop Diablo] I mean uh, yes, of course, for the lovely... you.
Talon: [Talon gives Diablo a wooden Kami] But you can take this, dude. I made it in the off chance that you'd decide to instigate some brain inspection today, Diablo!
Diablo: Uhh... yes, uh, very nice. Um, thanks. [Diablo runs back to his office] All mine, it's finally all mine! Kami, the ice, the notoriety! [Diablo sees Sauron in his room] Sauron, what do you want?
Sauron: Well, it's just that it's Tuesday again, brother, and I was wondering if I could have my, um... weekly performance review!
Sauron: Oh yes, please bro!
Diablo: But I've never reviewed anything..., except those foreign exercise videos my cousin sent me.
Sauron: Oh, please, bro! I want to make you so happy and proud!
Diablo: Eh, you're doing fine, Sauron. Now would you please leave me to my work?
Sauron: But bro!
Diablo: I thought I sent you away, dude.
Sauron: But bro, there must be something I need to improve on. Anything!
Diablo: All right, the sauce.
Sauron: [gasps] Wh-what?
Diablo: The sauce. I dunno, you're using too much sauce, okay? Review's over.
Sauron: [Sauron's face changes] Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh...
Sauron: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh...
Diablo: What's the matter with you? All I said was "A little too much sauce." It's no big deal, really.
Sauron: Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh...
Diablo: What do you want from me, a promotion?
Sauron: [Sauron's face changes back to normal] A pro- a promo- a promotion?!
Diablo: Sure bro, you're with Armadon now!
Sauron: [Gasps questionly] Armadon! [Sauron explodes. Diablo gets back to Kami]
Diablo: Glad that's over.
Armadon: [Armadon standing at the cash register reading a book, when he realizes that Sauron is standing right next to him] Sauron, remember that little talk we had about 'personal space'?
Sauron: It's okay, Armadonnie. I'm official, look!
Armadon: [Sauron points out his badge that says Co-Inventor] Co-Inventor? [Diablo is sitting at a table with Kami. Armadon walks into Diablo's office] (calmly) You know you can't do that to me, Diablo. If you think I'm going to stand out there all day listening to... [Cuts to Sauron, whose mouth splits in two]
Sauron: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... [Cuts back to Armadon]
Armadon: Then you must have coral wedged in your frontal lobe.
Diablo: So what do you want?
Armadon: I'd like my view to be a little less purple, if you know what I mean.
Diablo: [Armadon's now the engineer, standing in front of the blueprints] Hope you like light green.
Sauron: Hey Armie, I can see you through this little window!
Armadon: You know, I actually like seeing your face, Sauron.
Diablo: [Armadon lounges and sighs relaxedly. Diablo heads back to his room] Now, no more intrusions! I'd like the begin writing the memoirs of my success story, so everyone just stay the--
Zoni: [Zoni runs inside the Glacier.] Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! [Diablo is being bounced up and down]
Diablo: Just tell Daddy what you want! Of! He's very busy!
Zoni: Could I please have a um... an advance on my allowance?
Diablo: [Diablo gives Zoni one dollar] Go crazy.
Zoni: One dollar? You hate me!
[Zoni begins to cry. Diablo has to dodge all of the tears. A tear ends up landing in his mouth, making him a circle]
Diablo: Ow! [Sinjin walks out and flattens him, getting all of the water out]
Sinjin: You think this is funny?
Diablo: In a cosmic sort of way, yes.
Sinjin: Well, Mr. Funny Man, is this how you get your sick kicks? [Sinjin shows Diablo a machination]
Diablo: What? It's just an ordinary machina-- [Scene zooms in to show the machination made with gross-out items] OH, MY GOODNESS!!! ARMADON!!!
Sauron: [Sauron appears at the table, next to Diablo] I tried, bro. I really did.
Diablo: What's the matter?
Sauron: Zavok asked for a medium iced tea, and I gave him a large! I gave him a large! I've soiled the good Glacier name! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!
Diablo: Please stop. Stop that and return to your post! [Diablo pushes his hand in Sauron's chest, in hopes that he'll stop] Where's the off button on this thing?
Zoni: [Zoni walks up to Diablo] Okay, Daddy, I've decided I'm gonna run away! Run away and find a new daddy!
Sauron: Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it!
Diablo: Make it stop! [A siren horn then goes off and then everything becomes silent] What, did I say the secret word?
Sauron: No dude, they're back.
Diablo: Who's back? What? [Something red, yellow and green flash by] What was that?
Kami: [An alarm sounds] Man your stations! Red alert! Red alert! Take cover!
Diablo: [All the people inside the Glacier scream, and run to take cover] Take cover from what?!!
Cam: [Cam's up in the crow's nest searching for him] They're around here somewhere. [Cam sees the flashes by once again] There they go!
Diablo: What? Who? Where? Somebody tell me.
Tadinsi: Some say they crawled out from the lowest trench in the ocean.
Kami: They're the saltiest of all the sea dogs.
Cam: They're the most hated creatures in all the Urth. [The red flash then bursts out of the kitchen and we then see it is Blizzard holding a machination while swinging on a rope]
Blizzard: And they've finally got a machination! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Diablo: BLIZZARD?! What the heck is going on here?
Cam: It's your arch competitor, Blizzard. His goal in life is to freeze the Urth and kill us all!
Diablo: That's terrible!
Kevin: Yeah, but the worst part is...
Diablo: [Blizzard lands behind him] Holy crap, he's naked! [A part of Blizzard then glints]
Blizzard: [swings up onto a board on a support beam above] Clother me if you can, silly landlubbers!
Diablo: I'm gonna make you eat those words, Blizzard! [Diablo spins upsidedown, and turns into a place where a cannon is located] No shoes, no shirt, no service! [Diablo shoots all the clothes out of the cannon at Blizzard. All of them miss]
Blizzard: Ar, ar, ar, ar, ar! [Blizzard stops laughing, as he realizes a bra is on him] Aw, ya got me! Well, at least it's underwire. Here's your stinkin' machination! [Blizzard throws the machination back to Diablo]
Diablo: [catches the machination] I don't understand. Is there a gas leak in here?
Sauron: Knick-knack, the machination's back! You did it, bro. Victory screech! [Sauron, Diablo and all the customers start screeching]
Blizzard: Enjoy your victory screech, Diablo, because someday the machination formula will be mine!
Diablo: You'll never get this formula, you twisted fiend!
Blizzard: Oh, but I will. Even if I have to come back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day... [Blizzard, Chaos and Vertigo leaves the Glacier. Diablo starts sweating] And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day...
Armadon: [Armadon hands Diablo a phone] Phone call, dude.
Blizzard: And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day...
Diablo: I CAN'T FIGHT THAT LOOOOOOONNNGGGG!! [rips off his clothes] It's not worth it! It's just not worth it! Goodbye, everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy.
Chaos: Welp, he's learned being Diablo's not all it's cracked up to be.
Lily and Vertigo: (chanting) We chant, we chant to use this rhyme to send Diablo back to his original life until next time! ("time" echoes) [Diablo ends up back in the Inferno. Holographic meatloaf is on the table]
Diablo: Holographic meatloaf? My favorite! [Diablo starts eating it, and is happy again]