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Grocery Time

[Scene starts at the Wattersons' living room where Richard is sleeping on the sofa dreaming, while EJ, Davis and Kari mess with him]

Patrick: [Dreaming] AHH! It's the internet's fault!

Davis: [Whispers] Shh, shh! What did the internet do, Patri?

Patrick: I clicked the wrong link and it sent me to space! I can't breathe in space! And when I scream it makes no sound! Like this. [Patrick screams with no sound; EJ, Davis and Kari laugh]

[Nicole walks in]

Nicole: Stop laughing at your friend and help me put away the groceries.

[In the kitchen, Davis, EJ and Kari look at the groceries; Davis pulls out a box of cereal]

Davis: Dude, I think there's something wrong with this cereal.

EJ: Why?

Davis: IT LOOKS DELICIOUS!

[Kari holds up a bagel]

Kari: This bagel is like three times the size of our burger buns. [Kari puts the bagel and the burger bites together] Wait a minute...

[EJ grabs a carton of orange juice]

EJ: And this orange juice has oranges in it, instead of metaphysical and rhetorical digital upgrades and data codes!

Nicole: Ugh... I picked up someone else's groceries by mistake.

EJ: How come we can't get this good stuff all the time?

Nicole: Look, we'd be able to afford this good stuff if it wasn't fo- [Catches herself] rrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

[Camera changes to show EJ, Davis and Kari, who is now laughing while Davis and EJ are still waiting for Nicole to finish; the camera changes back to Nicole, who is now looking around suspiciously.]

Nicole: ...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

[Camera changes to show EJ and Davis still looking at Nicole and Kari is still laughing; Camera changes back to Nicole but she has inexplicably disappeared; Kari stops laughing]

EJ: What was that all about?

[EJ walks into the living room, Davis and Kari follow him.

Davis: You know that good stuff's got me thinking, what else is cheap in this house?

[Davis, EJ and Kari walk into the living room]

Davis: I mean, look at this MP3 player. Now tell me it's not a calculator with headphones stuck in it. [Grabs a copy of "How to Ratatwang Your Panda"] And that DVD isn't even the real film. It's some mock buster from the bargain bin.

Spongebob: What's wrong with "How to Ratatwang Your Panda"?

[On the TV Screen, a section of the film plays, taking place in a dojo]

Mouse character: Get ready, panda, use your secret weapon.

Panda character: Okay, you asked for it. [Does a massive fart in the other mice's face]

Other Mouse characters: Oh boy!

[Cuts back to the couch]

Spongebob: HAHAHAHAHA! HEHAHA!

EJ: It has very poor computer-animation.

Spongebob: Clever.

[Davis, EJ, and Davis walk into the kitchen, and Davis looks at the 'blender', which is just a fan, pointed downwards, taped to a bowl]

Davis: And look at this blender, they're calling this top of the line.

[Davis drops an orange onto it, and the orange splatters upwards around the room, completely missing the bowl]

EJ: Why can't we have the good stuff?

Kari: More importantly, what's Mom hiding?

[The phone rings and Kari answers it]

Kari: Hello?

[Mr. Krabs, with a deep raspy voice answers her.]

Mr. Krabs: For your own safety, stop digging around, there's nothing to find.

Kari: Okay, but if we were going to start digging, where should we look?

Mr. Krabs: Definitely not the attic- No wait! Oh, darn. [Hangs up]

[Kari chuckles evilly]


Digging in the Attic


[Scene changes to the kids up in the attic]

EJ: So, where do we start?

Kari: Uh, how about that box?

Davis: NO! NO!

[Kari picks up the box and keeps Davis away, then EJ opens the box, pulling out Davis' baby pictures]

EJ: [Gasps] Dude, you were an ugly baby.

[Kari and EJ start laughing]

Davis: I don't know what you're laughing at. [Davis pulls out an ugly baby picture of Kari; Kari's reaction is the same as the picture]

Kari: GIMME THAT!

Davis: NO!

Kari: GIMME THAT! [EJ jumps on Davis, moving a mirror, then it reflects onto several objects, then the brick wall] Pass me that poker.

[Scene switches to living room; the poker banging in the attic and Richard's footsteps are in sync; Richard walks across the room while holding a large sandwich; Sektor takes it away]

Sektor: Sounds to me like you really don't need that sandwich.

[Scene switches back to the attic; Kari finally loosens a brick]

Kari: Okay, guys. This is how you solve a case.

[Kari removes the brick and the entire chimney collapses.]

EJ: [Sarcastically] Our chimney has been kidnapped! Detective Kamiya, shall I cordon off the area for the forensic team?

Kari: Arrrrrrgh!!!!!

[Kari throws the brick down in aggravation; a plank comes up and hits her in the face, knocking her out]

Davis: Kari. KARI. KARI! Look what we found under the floorboard.

Kari: [Her speech is slightly muffled due to large bruises and a swollen face] I'm still the one who found it. Oh, they're bank statements.

Davis: [Not understanding Kari] No, they're bank statements.

Kari: Ugh.

Davis: Look. Back here we used to have loads of moo-lah. And then all went, in one big payment to Stellar Corporation.

EJ: What did Crash-Smash spend all that money on?

Kari: Well, whatever it was, I bet this key has something to do with it.

[Darrius appears out of nowhere]

Darrius: Wait, I've seen that key before! A long, long, time ago.


Digging in Darrius


[Scene changes to Gumball's bedroom; Darrius is sitting on the bed]

Kari: [With hypnotizing eyes] Ready?

Darrius: Ok.

Kari: [Quickly] One, two, three, sleep! Now I'm going to take you back, all the way back to the last time you saw that key.

Darrius: I can see it. I'm in the attic. There's bank statements all over the floor.

Davis: That was just now!

Kari: Go further back.

Darrius: Now I'm a baby.

[Camera changes to Darrius' flashback]

Darrius: [Voiceover] I'm with Nicci. A little reminiscing: I was the first kid she adopted. She's locking a suitcase.

Nicole: [shows Darrius the key found in the attic] You must never tell anyone you saw this.

Darrius: [gasp] It's the key!

[Camera changes back to the bedroom]

Davis: So whatever she bought was in that case...

Darrius: [grunt] I'm going further back, to previous lives.

[Camera shows previous lives while Darrius describes them]

Darrius: I'm a school teacher, it's boring. I'm a pharmacist, totally boring. I'm a banker! That's really boring. Optician, boring, librarian, boring, prospector, boring, farmer, bor-- Wait, wait, wait, prospector?

[The prospector in Darrius' flashback has a piece of gold in his hand and starts dancing after a good "Yeehaw!"]

Darrius: Hey, that's pretty good, and I just found the gold ou-- Wait a minute. I'm not the prospector, I'm the mule.

[Mule groans; camera changes to bedroom, Darrius is making the mule noise]

Davis: Darrius! Stop! wake up!

Darrius: And now I'm a hypnotist. [Darrius wakes up, his voice and eyes change] Look into my eyes!

Davis: [Hypnotized] Uhhhhhhhh...

[EJ looks at them disapprovingly, then notices a magnet on a string drop in through the window and steal the key]

EJ: [gasps] Hey, hey, hey, hey! [EJ grabs the magnet] Darrius, help!

Darrius: [To Davis] Now you're allergic to cheese. Cheese! [Davis sneezes]

Davis: Now your body is now heavier than stone. [Gumball crashes through the floor]

[Kari detaches the key from the magnet, which winds back upwards out the window]

EJ: Hey! [dives after the magnet] Come back here!

[Heavy footsteps are heard on the roof, followed by a thud on the ground.]

Darrius: Now you can speak fluent French.

[Davis starts speaking French, but then Sonic, Molly, Gil, Deema, Goby, Oona, Nonny Gumball and Darwin appear out of nowhere: Sonic splashes Darwin's fishbowl water on them and they snap back to normal.]

Davis and Darrius: Hey!

Kari: Someone just tried to steal the key, we need to get to that suitcase as quickly as possible!

EJ: Can't we just go to bed?

[Kari splashes Darwin's bowl water on him]

EJ: Fine.


Another Clue


[Scene changes to Nicole and Richard's bedroom; they are both sleeping, then the door opens and a light shines onto Nicole]

Nicole: [Yawns] What's going on?

Sonic: [Standing near the door] I had a nightmare.

Nicole: Sonic, honey, you're too old to sleep in our bed.

[Sonic looks frustrated and starts flicking the lights on and off repeatedly]

Nicole: Alright just get in.

[Nicole and Richard are on the bed sleeping while Sonic opens his eyes, preparing to retrieve the suitcase. Sonic opens his eyes, checks if his surrogate parents are sleeping, then gets up on the bed. Richard then holds his head against his while he's sleeping. Sonic pushes it away but Richard's another arm grabs him again. Sonic then pushes both of his hands away, but Richard puts his body over Sonic's, making Sonic stuck. Eventually, Sonic manages to squeeze himself off the bed]

Sonic: Uggh, that was like being born.

[Sonic then walk towards the cupboard, opens the bottom of the cupboard and remove the suitcase. He then opens the suitcase using the key, then looks at the paper he removed from the suitcase in disapproval]


The Receipt


[Scene changes back to Gumball's, Darwin's and Anais's bedroom; Yolei, T.K., Cody, Quinton, Ashley, Tomas, James, Greg, Cyrax, Secilia, Blake, Asia and Sektor are there]

Ashley: And that's all there was inside? And it's dressed with a bunch of doodles?

Sonic: Yeah. And, you know, a shovel.

Sektor: Wow, who would've thought she spent all that money on a rusty old shovel. Well case closed! Bedtime!

Kari: Sektor, don't you see? This is another clue!

Blake: ARRGH, I'M SO TIRED OF ALL THESE CLUES!

Kari: Whatever she bought, she hid it somewhere in this address. It must be extremely precious! [Quinton sighs] It must be BIG, like.. missile launch codes! Alien artifacts! A philosopher stone! Or something even bigger!

James: Oh come on, Kari. If it was that big, Nicole would've stopped us by now. The woman's virtually a ninja.

Kari: [Rubbing her chin] But that's just it! It isn't her that is trying to stop us. Those footsteps on the roof were way too heavy! [Rubbing her chin again] This goes much deeper than we thought, and the answer lies in this address. So what do you say? You're coming with me or not?

EJ: Not. [EJ turns off the lights, preparing everyone to sleep]


The Reason to Poverty


[Scene changes to the Wattersons' front yard, where Kari is pulling everyone along with her]

Kari: Where is your sense of adventure? [Hears a whistling sound] Stop! Do you hear that?

[Camera shows the tires on everyone's vehicles being punctured!

Kari: [Mistaken it for a missile] IT'S GONNA BLOW! [Lays down defending herself]

Gumball: It's just our tires.

Kari: See? They're on to us! We proceed by foot! [Runs away]

[Greg sighs, then he and everyone along with a few Rabbids, follow Kari. Background then shows the headlights of a car lit up. Scene then changes to an open area on a rainy weather with a mailbox on the middle]

EJ: Is that it? An empty mailbox? All this was a wild goose chase, sending us to the middle of NOWHERE, AT 3 AM, IN THE POURING RAIN?! AND WHAT'S THIS STUPID SHOVEL FOR?!

Darrius: [Turns around looking angry with a deep voice] I'll show you what it's for. [Hits the mailbox with the shovel] THIS IS FOR WASTING OUT TIME, AND THIS IS FOR KEEPING ME UP ALL NIGHT, AND THIS IS FOR THE RAIN, AND THIS IS FOR NOT BREAKING HOWEVER MANY TIMES I HIT YOU!

Sektor: AND THIS... [Raising up the receipt, where a lightning struck to show the doodle behind the receipt. Kari then gasps] IS FOR GIVING US POINTLESS CLUES, LIKE THESE STUPID BUNCH OF DOODLES! [Tries to tear the receipt apart]

Yolei: NO, WAIT! [Stops Sektor and looks at the doodles] That's not a doodle, it's a map! Look! Here's the mailbox! [Points at the mailbox doodle in the map] That's the creepy windmill! [Points at the windmill far away] This must be the forest! [Points at the forest doodle in the map]

[James and Secilia then look at another direction in fear]

Secilia: (frightened) Okay, we have to go now.

Kari: Hold on, I need to figure out where we're going.

EJ: No, we need to go- [Turns Kari's head around] -right now.

[Camera shows a light flashing upwards. Everyone all screams. Scene then changes to a field of tall grass, where everyone is running away]

Molly: They've found us! We need to get to the treasure before they get to us!

Gil: [Repeatedly getting hit by the tall grass] I think it's my turn to go to the front, okay? [Runs into a tree] Aughhugh! ...Found the forest.

[Molly giggles]

EJ: That's not funny.

Greg: Great, we're looking for an old twisted tree in a clearing.

Quinton: AHH! [Points at a beam of light] They're still coming!

[Everyone proceeds to run away to a huge log bridge. Everyone runs across the bridge while Sektor and Cyrax are afraid to cross it. The bridge starts to budge]

Sektor: Are you sure about this? It looks kind of dangerous.

Molly: It's fine, just don't look down!

[Sektor and Cyrax look down and scream]

Sektor: WHY DID YOU MAKE US DO THAT?!

Molly: I didn't! I said DON'T look down.

[Sektor and Cyrax look down again and scream]

Sektor: YOU DID IT AGAIN!

Molly: Oh, come on. This thing has been here forever. [Bangs on the log bridge] It's totally safe.

[The log bridge starts to fall apart and Gumball and Darwin scream and run across the bridge. The bridge then falls apart]

EJ: MUY CALIENTE!!!!!

[Sektor and Cyrax jump. Cyrax grabs Sektor's leg and Sektor grabs the edge of the cliff. Cyrax then pulls Sektor's leg and his face sinks inwards]

Asia: Take my hand!

Sektor: [Tries to reach for Asia] I can't see.

[Asia then grabs Sektor's face and pulls Cyrax and Sektor up from the cliff]

Ashley: This treasure better be worth it.

Deema: Guys, look! [Points at twisted tree] There it is!

[Everyone approaches the twisted tree. Cody then digs a hole near the tree, and hits something hard]

Goby: That must be it!

[A stranger then turns on his flashlight at everyone]

Stranger: Stop digging.

Sonic: ...Mr. Krabs?

Stranger: No.

[The stranger then turns out to be Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs: Yeah- [Turns off flashlight] -it's me.

Gil: Look! [Lifts up box] I got it!

Mr. Krabs: No, please! Don't open the box! Good old Mr. Krabs'll give you anything you want!

Sektor: We want whatever is in the box.

Mr. Krabs: NOOOOO!

[Greg slowly opens the box while everyone anticipates the moment to realize what is in the box, only to find another piece of paper inside]

Darrius: OH MAN! IT'S ANOTHER PIECE OF PAPER!

Mr. Krabs: It's not just a piece of paper. It's the reason why we couldn't afford whatever we want.

Kari: Would someone PLEASE tell me what's going on here!

Mr. Krabs: [Sighs] It was 12 years ago. Darrius was just adopted. Your surrogate mother stayed at the hospital while the doctors tried to work out why he was so sarcastic. I was left at home, alone.

[Flashback]

Mr. Krabs: [Narrating] It was the beginning of the internet.

Younger Mr. Krabs: [Using the computer] Click now for an out-of-this-world property investment for the future of your kids?! YES! [Clicks on the "YES" button in the computer]

Mr. Krabs: [Narrating] I clicked too quick. I should've waited for the page to finish loading.

Younger Mr. Krabs: [Using the Computer] Property investment for the future of your kids' great...great...great... [gets worried as the page finishes loading] great...great...great...great...grandchildren's children?

[The scene now changes to Younger Mr. Krabs standing outside in the cornfields near the mailbox with his car as he lets out a depressed sigh]

Mr. Krabs: [Narrating] I tried to get the money back, but the company had already gone bankrupt. So in my shame, I buried the evidence.

[It cuts back to Mr. Krabs in the present as he finishes his narration]

EJ: So it was you who hid the bank statements and tried to steal the key back!

Mr. Krabs: [buries his head in the ground] Yes!

Cyrax: Yeah, well, well, that was a very interesting story, Mr. Krabs. Well done. BUT WHAT DID YOU BUY?!

Kari: I'll tell you exactly what it was. He bought a-

Spongebob and Patrick: [interrupting offscreen] A star.

[Kari gets a look of shock on her face]

Kari: [Kneels on the ground] NOOOO! [glares angrily at both Spongebob and Patrick while her friends looks on her smugly] YOU STOLE MY THUNDER!

Mr. Krabs: You knew? But how?

Spongebob: You talk in your sleep, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: And you don't hate me?

Patrick: We knew you tried to do well. It wasn't your fault, it was the internet.

Molly: You know what? It's kind of cool that we have our own star.

Darrius: Which one is it?

Mr. Krabs: [points to a star in the sky] There.

EJ: You know, that star might not even be there anymore. But it's light travels through time and space for millions of years. It's immaterial, and yet it still exists.

Deema: Kind of like love.

Yolei: So in a way, the star is a symbol of our family's love.

Sektor: And it will always be there. Forever.

[The star goes out like a light bulb and everyone gives off nervous looks at each other as the episode ends.]

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